So, I went and joined the gym and got myself a trainer in a bid to restore this body. I have accepted that I can't do it on my own so I have employed the service of one Danny from BodyLife gym in my neighbourhood. I really wish someone had given me some orientation or at least a briefing of what happens when you walk into this place. I didn't know what was coming. I was never ready. Nothing in my life had ever prepared me for this.
The first ordeal is called the assessment. Oh, Mary mother of God!Why? Why me? There I was in nothing but black sweats and black socks looking like a classic before picture and there was Danny , looking like an advert for Nike, with only 6% body fat. He stood there with what looked to me like an industrial scale, a tape measure and some gadget to measure body fat. Oh the agony...Why didn't anybody warn me about these weapons of esteem destruction?
Height: 1.6m
Weight: 90kg
Abdomen: 107 cm
Verdict: Obese
I want to run. (But remember I don't know how to and that is how I got here hahahaha) I want run and eat. I need comfort. I need warm homemade fried chicken with creamy mash and some apple cider . I need comfort. I need a bed , with an electric blanket and fluffy pillows. I need comfort. I want to chew and swallow until my heart no longer feels hollow.
But instead I stay. I stay and I face myself. I acquaint myself with the eliptical and the treadmill, the kettle bells and the free weights. I am self -conscious and I feel exposed. Oh the awkwardness of it all! Danny is positive and encouraging. Everybody is starring at me, cringing at my uncoordinated attempts to get this body going. The huffing, the puffing, the sweat, the screams the signs...great, now I am a monkey at the zoo!
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| Fake it till you make it! |
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| All geared up and ready to go. I showed up... |
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